Thursday, August 30, 2007

Out of Place

Once upon a time, I was not Suzie Homemaker. I was not even aspiring to be. I was a single 20-something partying it up and living life to the fullest. I worked in a bar, hung out in bars, drinking was my hobby. Sad thing is, I was trying to find a husband in a bar, too.
Then a friend told me "Do you go to a junk yard to buy a good car?"
"Uh, no," I responded.
"Then you don't go to a bar to find a good husband, either," he explained.
Made so much sense, even though I am sure I was not sober at the time, that it stuck with me somehow. Funny thing was, he was the lead singer of the bar's house band. But, since we were such good friends, I actually listened to what he was saying.
It took a couple of years, but I finally got my life straightened out. I simply did not see the error of my ways until he flipped this light on at the veryyyyyy end of a long, dark hallway. So, I then began turning on lights.
First, I got a new job. One that did not require the presence of me being around alcohol. I don't think I was truly ever an alcoholic, although some might have seen me that way. Alcohol just seemed to waste my time and distract me from my loneliness while floating from one week to the next between guys.
Next, I got rid of my friends. This was a toughie. This group of girls had been my friends for years, and even though we had our ups and downs, they were like my family. But, I did it, like removing a bandaid, quick yet not painless. We had one last fight, and it was a terrible rowe. We simply never made up. Sadly, looking from the outside in, I can see that they were not good people to be friends with, because instead of just knowing that we are all different people, and since they did not know the "live and let live" mentality, they still make their jabs. I have seen their Myspace pages, and after one quick glance, with my name being bashed about, I never went back. It is amazing that after 7 years I am still the topic of their rants. Although now I know why I made the decision to delete them from my life.
After cleaning out the riff-raff, I decided that my life's focus had to change. I was a college student, single mom and working 2 jobs. Well, one had just been eliminated, so I focused on my family and school. I went through a couple of "used car lot" boyfriends before I had enough of those, too.
The ultimate tool to me changing my life was getting back to God. I had a journal that I kept and it kind of served as my book of prayers. I jotted down the things I wanted out of life. And He listened (well, read). After a few days, and another bad break-up, I decided to outline the perfect man for me. I did it, not in specifics such as height or eye color, but with traits that I knew I needed in a man to be able to finish out my life with him. That was my last break-up.
The very next day, God sent me what I prayed for. Odd thing was, I had known him almost my whole life. Even more odd was that the first time we went out, he didn't even try to kiss me, so I figured I would never see him again. I was wrong. Other than 4 days, I have seen him every day since. We married 3 months later, and since he is mortal, he does have his faults. The good things far outweigh the bad, though.
It is not amazing to me that God works like this. The only amazing part is that I woke up so I could listen to Him.

1 comment:

mel said...

I for one an glad you figured out you were out of place with them... now you can hang with me!!!!